Truthy Tuesday, Changes

Another episode in over thinking it.  This week I wanted to analyze how different KidMakes’ childhood is from my own, sociologically and emotionally.

When I think of my own childhood, I remember pain and turmoil and sadness.  I know that’s not all there was, but that’s what stands out in my memories.   My mom had a breakdown when I was 7, which led to a diagnosis of Manic Depression, now commonly referred to as Bi-Polar Disorder.

I remember that day.  She was talking about how we couldn’t go outside to pick my brother up from tennis lessons because the world was going to end, and it was her fault.

I convinced her to get into the car and drive the mile or so to pick him up (not the safest thing, from my adult POV).  He had started walking home and was pissed until he got a look at my face.

Since that day, I have felt the need to protect my mother.  I think that day my childhood ended.

My child will be 7 in a couple of months.  This is bringing up some…stuff…for me.  To manage my anxiety around this, I used this post to show myself how different her life as a child is from how mine was, and in turn how different my life is now compared to my mom’s in 1985.

(Mother’s Day also brings up stuff for me, so there’s that as well…)

Mother’s Day 2012

Every Mother Counts

Thanks to all the Mothers I’ve had in my life. Thanks to all the ‘Mothers’ upon who’s backs we now stand. Pray we do the work to preserve what rights they have purchased for us with their sweat, blood and tears.

Love and empathy to those who must mother themselves.

Recipie for Making Love

Seven Eight years ago today I vowed to never stop laughing, never stop learning, to look for the good in every situation, to love PapaMakes for the rest of my days and show him how much I love him every time I see him.

Love

PapaMakes and I have celebrated 16 Valentine’s Days together.

Our love has changed, evolved as it were. Our relationship is as strong as ever.

Thanks, PapaMakes, I love you.

Lately

The Makes family is dealing with a bit of adversity in the new year. Our downstairs neighbors are quite noisy. Our bedroom is right on top of their living room, and we can hear loud movies, thumping music, slamming doors and laughter.  Often well into the night.

We are working with management to try to get them to quiet down, but after two notices in two weeks, I notice no change. In fact, it seems like they are even louder now.
So we’re going to have to move.
Again.
I did not want my daughter’s childhood to involve moving 4 times before her 7th birthday. I know I’ve read that children need stability, blah blah blah.
Kid Makes is excited to move. She enjoys it! She likes having a new place, and being able to visit the old place.
I must admit, I am also excited about possibly renting a house. With a backyard. And no shared walls with neighbors!
I look forward to planning a kid room that is functional and easy to clean (pipe dream, I know). I am looking forward to doing the same for my ultimate craft room.
And perhaps a kitchen that is bigger than a postage stamp for Papa.
Send us your positive vibes, dear Imaginary Readers.

How’s the new year treating you and yours?

Merry Merry Everybody

If you celebrate, I wish you very happy holiday(s).

If you do not celebrate, I wish you warmth, shelter, food and friends.

See you in 2012!

Another

One question I always face is, “When do you two plan on having another?” or some variation on this theme.  Not the most appropriate question, but I believe the intent is usually good, so I answer.

Gratitude’s for Suckers

Hello again.  A bit of a break there, hmmm.  A little writer’s block, mixed with some family drama and a dash of vacation road-tripping.  Oh holidays, here you are again.  Yay.

OMG Yes

Reading this article about the ‘Primal Wound‘ I had one of those moments, those ‘holy crap, how did the author peek into my life to research this theory/paper/case study?’ moments.

For love to be freely accepted there must be trust, and despite the love and security our daughter has been given, she has suffered the anxiety of wondering if she would again be rejected. For her this anxiety manifested itself in typical testing-out behavior. At the same time that she tried to provoke the very rejection that she feared, there was a reaction on her part to reject before she was rejected. It seemed that allowing herself to love and be loved was too dangerous; she couldn’t trust that she would not again be abandoned.
- Adoption: The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier, M.A.