I know, another series. This one will specialize in naval gazing and will hide mostly behind a jump. The posts that I enjoy reading always expose the writer’s soft under belly, some snapshot of their lives, minds, inner workings. So I thought I’d write a few posts like that for my blog.
I’m also working on my feelings around adoption and how mine has affected my life, perception and feeling toward myself. So there’s that, too.
“You make your own happiness”
Seems so simple. I don’t mean that ‘magical thinking’ is going to solve our very real problems. We cannot think away a disability or hardship, but we can keep ourselves calm and carry on.
Working in the hospice field has taught me so much about laughter and good humor in the face of tragedy and misfortune. Yes, the roof just caved in and it’s now raining, but we can laugh our way through the darkness together.
For me this phrase also refers to finding a source of happiness within yourself, and not looking to anyone else to make you happy. I used to rely on PapaMakes’ moods to determine how I should be feeling. If he was irritated about something, I automatically assumed that it was my fault and became irritated and unhappy as well. This put a double burden on him, because then I would make his situation all about me; instead of helping him I created more for him to be unhappy about.
It took several years of work, and one spiritual experience, to really learn that it was OK for me to be happy even though the people around me were not. I didn’t need to sing and dance around sad folks, but I could detach my emotions from theirs. I could accept that their bad mood was not my fault, and in all likelihood did not have anything at all to do with me.
Every shitty situation is made more bearable with a good attitude. Conversely, a bad attitude can make a bad experience exponentially worse. I know this from experience. My dear old dad is an expert. For a long time, I got upset at situations that were not going the way I wanted them to. Now, I remember that I’m not the only one who is not happy with what’s going on, and keeping a good attitude is the best thing I can do to help us all get through it.
I’ll wrap up with a few quotes on attitude:
It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come. ~ Dalai Lama
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~ Winston Churchill
I am convinced that attitude is the key to success or failure in almost any of life’s endeavors. Your attitude-your perspective, your outlook, how you feel about yourself, how you feel about other people-determines you priorities, your actions, your values. Your attitude determines how you interact with other people and how you interact with yourself. ~ Carolyn Warner